Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Why You're Single

I love the Thought Catalog

Here is an article from today that I loved by Amanda Crute entitled Why You're Single. Enjoy:

You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.
You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.
You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis.
You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.
You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now

How great is that? I love it. Having recently become single again after 3 1/2 years (on and off) it was so good to read this. I've had to adjust a lot. It has been really hard at times. I enjoy single life but being in a major with married/engaged girls EVERYWHERE I TURN can be kind of discouraging sometimes. I've allowed myself to wonder what's wrong with me or compare myself to other girls. DUMB. So over that! The other day I decided to just live it up while I'm single, and it has made such a difference. It's so much better to enjoy life right now. It's good to hope for the future but dwelling on it doesn't do any good. I've been really happy. I'll admit I used to really stress out about whether or not I'd find someone while at BYU. I've realized though that if I don't meet someone here IT WILL STILL HAPPEN (gasp). I used to think that if I didn't meet him here I was pretty much hopeless (hahahahahahaha.....hahahahahaha). I have since learned that the Lord's timing is everything, and I am SO ok with that. He knows me better than I know myself so why wouldn't I want Him to plan when things happen for me? Seems pretty obvious now. I'm so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who helped me realize things I needed to let go of, including the boy I really cared for. Though it was difficult, I now know there is someone better for me and someone better for him. He is such a good guy. I cant emphasize that enough. I think the world of him, but he isn't the right guy for me. 

I've been able to get to know so many guys, just as friends, and have learned so much more about what it is that I really want in a guy. When I was dating ________ I missed out on a lot of opportunities. I don't regret that relationship, but I realize now how many more opportunities I have to get to know guys who have what I want. I spent too much time caught up in a relationship that I knew wasn't right. I stayed in it about 3 years too long which is hard to admit. I had a hard time letting go even though I knew deep down it wasn't right for the majority of our relationship.  It was a great learning experience though, and I wouldn't trade anything that I've learned from it. 

When I started this post I did not plan to go in this direction. It's really good for me to get these thoughts written down though. I have days where I want to go back to my old relationship or when I really miss it, but then I remember all of the reasons why it needed to end. Writing down my thoughts helps me to move forward and remember what I really deserve. I'll find someone else who will be much better for me.  I'm excited for when that happens, but if it takes a while that's great. If it's tomorrow? Cool. Whatever is right will happen, and that is perfect. For now I'm gonna rock the single life.

Here's to being single. I love it. 


  1. yes. yes. yes.

    love you kate!

  2. Oh my gosh this is exactly what I needed today!

  3. I just fell in love with this post, I think we may secretly be the same person... you're just the cuter trendier version :D

  4. I fell for this article too! And btw i read your post about your relationship life and hey i feel the same way! And right now i have lots of guy friends but i still love being single! Cheers! :)

  5. i know this is taking it way back, but thanks for posting my article! glad it helped you back then :)